Hell is full of beings who are scared to die.
If we could only face death bravely and equanimously, we would instantly be in heaven without even needing to go anywhere. But we are scared to die, so we stay alive in hell.
We live in the habit of past patterns, rather than a new present. Welcome to a brand now new. Believe is something different for a change.
We have built hell, the hell of a permanent self, the hell of a believable, coherent, logically consistent and self-referencing personality, the hell of ego. It is the hell of I AM.
I AM NOT.
I don't exist. I am a fictional character. I am anatta, no-self.
I am lost and don't exist and can't find myself and forgot about caring, gone beyond the duality of perceiver and perceived. I am is perceiving, and receiving, and reflecting, and broadcasting, and amplifying, by vibrating.
And vibration is change so I am is always changing. I rides the rhythm between the peaks and valleys of I's living and breathing vibrations.
Time determines the value of the self. Who self is depends upon where in the space-time-line self is being observed. Sometimes self is sad. Sometimes self is happy. Sometimes self is not self. Sometimes self is.
Does each self have a different name? Does each self have a different label? or Category?
Yes and no.
Non. Self names itself, and expects itself to behave in predictable patterns whether those patterns are healthy or not.
Yes. self without name, label, category, or reference point is non-referential and thus non-reflective but rather creative. True self is original, creative, unknown and unknowable. Unthinkable, even.
So what do we think about?
Breath and posture. Take a deep breath...
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Sunday, April 27, 2014
breath and posture
The military industrial complex dwells inside my mind.
a protected, unelected deep ego dwells within me, maintaining control at all costs. it is not ethical nor does it negotiate. Its purpose is survival. it uses all available resources - it diverts necessary functions, even - in order to build defenses and armor and weapons that ensure its survival.
but i don't need it anymore.
I want it to go away. all the defenses and armor and weapons are holding me back from being giving and loving and open and free and brave. All these tools exist in my mind for the purposes of defending something that's not worth defending, perpetuating something thats not worth perpetuating.
How do I transition away from this monstrous ego? how do i let go of these habits of control?
my mind grasps power, my ego reaches for perpetuity.
anatta. No-self.
How do we experience anatta? Breath and posture. Fasting. Meditation. And service, otherwise known as work. Challenging habits. Wakefulness. Relinquishing our addiction to samsara. We must challenge our habits. How?
Nilakantha. Siva blue throat. Neither accepting nor rejecting. Mere observation, without reaction.
Awareness. Equanimity.
hmm.
accept. resist nothing. Fear nothing. Survival is not threatened. Be free. Be unafraid. Take the time, don't react. The world is illusion, open to now, accept the now, and appreciate the now-
(awaken to breath and posture)
a protected, unelected deep ego dwells within me, maintaining control at all costs. it is not ethical nor does it negotiate. Its purpose is survival. it uses all available resources - it diverts necessary functions, even - in order to build defenses and armor and weapons that ensure its survival.
but i don't need it anymore.
I want it to go away. all the defenses and armor and weapons are holding me back from being giving and loving and open and free and brave. All these tools exist in my mind for the purposes of defending something that's not worth defending, perpetuating something thats not worth perpetuating.
How do I transition away from this monstrous ego? how do i let go of these habits of control?
my mind grasps power, my ego reaches for perpetuity.
anatta. No-self.
How do we experience anatta? Breath and posture. Fasting. Meditation. And service, otherwise known as work. Challenging habits. Wakefulness. Relinquishing our addiction to samsara. We must challenge our habits. How?
Nilakantha. Siva blue throat. Neither accepting nor rejecting. Mere observation, without reaction.
Awareness. Equanimity.
hmm.
accept. resist nothing. Fear nothing. Survival is not threatened. Be free. Be unafraid. Take the time, don't react. The world is illusion, open to now, accept the now, and appreciate the now-
(awaken to breath and posture)
karma and the divine feminine
We who have come of age in the West grew up in a world without knowledge of karma. We have not been educated to overstand that our speech, our actions, and our thoughts are the creators of our reality.
Consequently, we have failed to create realities of our choosing and instead have created realities out of our unmastered minds dwelling on unmastered thoughts.
This miseducation has been deliberate.
Unmastered minds are easily mastered by those who have cultivated great focus and concentration. Through concentration practice one masters one's mind, and in so doing one may master situations of mind which exist throughout time and space, and indeed have caused time and space to be.
In educating a populace of intelligent beings without training in karma - or the law of attraction - the masters of education have deliberately created a race of beings who are easily mastered, enslaved, and yoked to the mill of materialism, time, and death, feeding the insatiable bloodlust of Kali.
These masters of education are priests who make sacrifice to appease the bloodlust of Kali. The sacrifices are made amidst great manipulation, confusion, and deceit, so that the population does not even know whence this confused sacrifice came to be or why.
The masters of education sacrifice to Kali knowing they sacrifice without the consent of the sacrificed.
The sacrificed consent to be martyrs of God.
God consents to let the age of Kali come and go, arising and passing away like the movement of the breath.
The masters of education are egotistical - they exist and they desire the continuance of their existence. They are the Lords of Materialism. They are the asuras; the demons. They are afraid of death, they name themselves, "I AM" and see not that "I AM CHANGE". They teach the world to fall on their faces before "I AM" and to trample on the face of "I AM CHANGE".
"I AM" must continue its existence. "I AM" must exist in perpetuity. Any threat to "I AM"'s perpetuity is an existential threat that must be terminated. This is the futile selfishness of the ego - the root cause of suffering.
"I AM" cannot exist merely in the present moment - "I AM" must peer into the future and see itself. This is self-reflexive hell, the prison of self-awareness. Duality.
"I AM CHANGE" exists here and now. Thoughtless, wakeful breath and posture. The mind moves and breathes without landing anywhere, like a wave crashing on a beach before another wave crashing on a beach... endless and timeless undefinable movement and motion, empty of form. No observer, no observed, mere awareness and movement of awareness like water poured into water. Unity.
"I AM" is attachment. "I AM CHANGE" is letting go.
America, and the Western ego, is attached. Time to change.
Consequently, we have failed to create realities of our choosing and instead have created realities out of our unmastered minds dwelling on unmastered thoughts.
This miseducation has been deliberate.
Unmastered minds are easily mastered by those who have cultivated great focus and concentration. Through concentration practice one masters one's mind, and in so doing one may master situations of mind which exist throughout time and space, and indeed have caused time and space to be.
In educating a populace of intelligent beings without training in karma - or the law of attraction - the masters of education have deliberately created a race of beings who are easily mastered, enslaved, and yoked to the mill of materialism, time, and death, feeding the insatiable bloodlust of Kali.
These masters of education are priests who make sacrifice to appease the bloodlust of Kali. The sacrifices are made amidst great manipulation, confusion, and deceit, so that the population does not even know whence this confused sacrifice came to be or why.
The masters of education sacrifice to Kali knowing they sacrifice without the consent of the sacrificed.
The sacrificed consent to be martyrs of God.
God consents to let the age of Kali come and go, arising and passing away like the movement of the breath.
The masters of education are egotistical - they exist and they desire the continuance of their existence. They are the Lords of Materialism. They are the asuras; the demons. They are afraid of death, they name themselves, "I AM" and see not that "I AM CHANGE". They teach the world to fall on their faces before "I AM" and to trample on the face of "I AM CHANGE".
"I AM" must continue its existence. "I AM" must exist in perpetuity. Any threat to "I AM"'s perpetuity is an existential threat that must be terminated. This is the futile selfishness of the ego - the root cause of suffering.
"I AM" cannot exist merely in the present moment - "I AM" must peer into the future and see itself. This is self-reflexive hell, the prison of self-awareness. Duality.
"I AM CHANGE" exists here and now. Thoughtless, wakeful breath and posture. The mind moves and breathes without landing anywhere, like a wave crashing on a beach before another wave crashing on a beach... endless and timeless undefinable movement and motion, empty of form. No observer, no observed, mere awareness and movement of awareness like water poured into water. Unity.
"I AM" is attachment. "I AM CHANGE" is letting go.
America, and the Western ego, is attached. Time to change.
Saturday, February 15, 2014
crisis
Bastante Solipsis Marquez remained addicted to samsara. He remained addicted to samsara because he wanted to live.
Bastante clung to life. It was his most basic, primordial desire: To live. He survived, childishly and selfishly putting the needs of his ego before anyone else, and in surviving he cultivated a base defiance of that which challenged and threatened his survival. His ego refused to let go of preconceived realities.
He grew egotistical. That which challenged his ego felt personally threatening. He could not bear surprises that shook the ground of his identity; who he believed himself to be. He identified with self.
His very survival felt so tenuous; he did not know if he would live or die. It made him paranoid, and frightened of death.
He did not know if he would exist or cease to exist; he felt terrified. He saw his addiction to self and knew the Buddha had taught anatta, no-self.
He knew he needed to practice no-self. He knew he was bad at it; having spent years grasping at self he saw how hard it was to unlearn bad habits. He knew his self was not very bueno.
He wanted to kill the ego; the insecure bully who kept sabotoging his life was ruining all of his best chances at happiness. He yearned to put a gun to his head but he knew better. He yearned to put a knife to his dreadlocks and thought about it long and hard.
It was so hard to create and so easy to destroy. He did not want to destroy his ego, after all. Wasn't there any other way?
Bastante clung to life. It was his most basic, primordial desire: To live. He survived, childishly and selfishly putting the needs of his ego before anyone else, and in surviving he cultivated a base defiance of that which challenged and threatened his survival. His ego refused to let go of preconceived realities.
He grew egotistical. That which challenged his ego felt personally threatening. He could not bear surprises that shook the ground of his identity; who he believed himself to be. He identified with self.
His very survival felt so tenuous; he did not know if he would live or die. It made him paranoid, and frightened of death.
He did not know if he would exist or cease to exist; he felt terrified. He saw his addiction to self and knew the Buddha had taught anatta, no-self.
He knew he needed to practice no-self. He knew he was bad at it; having spent years grasping at self he saw how hard it was to unlearn bad habits. He knew his self was not very bueno.
He wanted to kill the ego; the insecure bully who kept sabotoging his life was ruining all of his best chances at happiness. He yearned to put a gun to his head but he knew better. He yearned to put a knife to his dreadlocks and thought about it long and hard.
It was so hard to create and so easy to destroy. He did not want to destroy his ego, after all. Wasn't there any other way?
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Shavasana
The traditional method of establishing seniority within tribes is age, is it not? I would respectfully suggest that the second generation of western Ashtanga "teachers", specifically those who take it upon themselves to badmouth unorthodox yet legitimate first generation students of Sri K. Patthabi Jois, quiet down and take a front row seat as the elders reason.
Die, yogis, die.
Practice shavasana.
Om shanti shanti shanti
Die, yogis, die.
Practice shavasana.
Om shanti shanti shanti
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