why sanskrit hurts my XXXX

an outlandish theory:
In the beginning of writing, scribes were circumcised in order that they always be known amongst the population. Scribes were spellcasters, chanters, wizards, brahmins. they were the circumscribes, an enslaved tribe forced to undergo genital mutilation to be rendered submissive enough to be trusted with the work of writing language - maps by which sounds become worlds. They were not blue-blooded Illuminati, whose divine ancestry carried the genetic makeup of countless eons of mantra recitation and awakened kundalini. They were fully human, entrusted with the Sacred Word and physically disabled to keep the snake from freeing their minds.

But Shakti had another idea...

Abram was a Brahmin. a Brahmin scribe. His genitals had been mutilated at the orders of the Illuminati, and he had consequently been deemed docile enough to proceed with the Brahmanic initiation, and yet the Lord was strong with him, and he was not a docile enough man to tolerate the corruption of Babylon. He was prophet enough to see that the writing on the wall spelled out the fall of Rome, and he wanted nothing to do with it. He wandered West, and his hot chick wife rode a camel after him. They were both in their seventies.

They had like over two hundred friends who came with, and did all the work. That's worth mentioning, probably.

Point being: scribes were circumcised to be distinguished from royalty, who were traditionally the only ones with access to written language, and thus the powers of mantra, which in turn was the path of awakening kundalini. The scribes were understood to be literati - prisoners of the word. Prisoners of language. Condemned to a life imprisoned in the language of thought, without ever awakening the magical shakti, the embodied truth of preconditional awareness. In order to ensure that the power of mantra could never be used by the literati to awaken kundalini, assume supernatural powers, and overthrow the rule of the Illuminati, they were 'circum-scribed' - genitally mutilated as a method of assuring submission, pushing fear into the authority and agency of shivalingam. The scribes were enslaved, and given a master. This master was mind-thought-language-spoken-word, encoded in symbols fathomed by an elite few, secret teachings passed on from father to son, and - times being what they were, the fall of Empire and all - from Master to Slave.

The Illuminati stood around, shaking their heads. Some day, they knew, the literati would find out they'd been getting their dicks chopped off at birth as a means of keeping them down. When that time came, Royalty or not, the Illuminati were going to need a spaceship home...

So the Lord changed Abram's name to Abraham, which means, "Abram ran away from organized religion and ran to God"